Pocket Litter

2002-11-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

Scientists Pinpoint Brain's Fear Control Area

LONDON (Reuters) - Scientists have pinpointed an area of the brain involved in overcoming fear which may help to improve treatments for people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety attacks....

"We've found an area of the brain that is activated, or turned on, when fear is reduced. Consistent with that, if we stimulate that area electrically we can reduce fear," said Gregory Quirk of the Ponce School of Medicine in Puerto Rico....

"We think we found it because in this part of the prefrontal cortex (of the brain) it is the first time an area has been activated, or turned on, when fear is reduced," he added in an interview....

Quirk and his colleague Mohammed Milad think the job of the prefrontal cortex, which they found by studying recordings of nerve cells in the brains of rats, is to inhibit the fear response.

They suspect the prefrontal cortex reduces fear by inhibiting the amygdala, a hub of fear memory deep in the brain.

People with post-traumatic stress disorder appear to have weak activity in the prefrontal cortex of the brain, according to the scientists. They believe a painless experimental technique called transcranial magnetic stimulation might help them control fear.

"Now that we have identified the area it should be straightforward to strengthen the connections in this area so they have stronger safety memory," Quirk said.

This is fantastic news!

2002-11-07T11:43:00.000-08:00

US intelligence: seeing what it wants to see in Iraq

WASHINGTON – The CIA and Defense Department are at it again. As usual, this is about their different approaches to the analysis of intelligence. CIA analysts tend to call it like they see it. Defense analysts tend to call it like they want to see it, or sometimes more to the point, how they want Congress and the public to see it. The subject this time is Iraq.

Dissatisfied with what the CIA is telling the White House, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has set up his own unit to analyze reports from the CIA and other agencies. He is relying on this process for justification of his bellicose policy toward Iraq – something he thinks he is not getting from the CIA. Rumsfeld starts with a policy and looks for intelligence to support it. The CIA (most of the time anyway) stays with what it thinks the intelligence shows and leaves it to policymakers to come up with answers on what to do about it.

2002-11-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

Bochco's 'Marriage' 'Sopranos' Successor?

Steven Bochco's coming to HBO. In a deal that will unite one of television's best-known producers with the medium's most prestigious network, the co-creator of "NYPD Blue" will produce a show titled "Marriage," which will air in 2004.

The move, announced Tuesday, is a big deal for a couple of reasons. Foremost: "Marriage" will be joining the HBO lineup when "The Sopranos" is in its fifth, and possibly final, season. So the obvious question: Could this show emerge as a successor?...

The show, to be based in New York, was described by HBO as "chronicle" of a marriage that's five or six years old, and will take place in the bedroom, bathroom and - adding its own cryptic touch - "the closet."

2002-11-07T10:48:00.000-08:00

Murdering Maniac Molests Mild-mannered Manatees

Why oh why can't he be the one to get the bubonic plague?

2002-11-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

Michigan bans itself from postseason for one year

ANN ARBOR, Mich. (AP) -- Michigan punished its men's basketball program Thursday, imposing a postseason ban for 2003 and forfeiting all victories from four seasons because of a scandal involving a former booster.

Michigan also will remove banners from Crisler Arena for the 1992-93 season, as well as the three between 1995 and 1999....

Michigan also said it would return to the NCAA $450,000 -- money it earned for appearing in the postseason.

The scandal centers on former booster Ed Martin, who pleaded guilty in May to conspiracy to launder money. Martin has said he took gambling money, combined it with other funds and lent it to former Michigan star Chris Webber and other players, as well as their families.

"There is no excuse for what happened. It was wrong -- plain and simple," university president Mary Sue Coleman said. "This is a day of great shame."

Bravo, Mary Sue Coleman!

2002-11-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

Addendum to The Sopranos, #46 "Watching Too Much Television"

Since Carmela made a big thing about Adriana and Christopher's having a traditional Italian wedding, her unusual choice of Mums as flowers can only serve to reinforce the theme of death and perhaps widows (all the widows at the wedding shower, Carmela's wearing black widow's weeds as she signs the living trust).

From http://www.memoriesflorist.com/flowers.html

Chrysanthemum - Commonly called "mums" or "tansies," this popular perennial's name comes from the Greek chrysos (gold) and anthos (flower). While chrysanthemums generally denote cheerfulness and rest, individual colors do carry specific messages: red for love, good luck and best wishes; white for truth; and yellow for slighted love. Chrysanthemums will be welcomed throughout the British Isles and North America for any occasion. In Italy, however, their exclusive association with the dead makes chrysanthemums acceptable only for funerals.

So, who will get wacked at the wedding?

2002-11-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

Unfinished Business (Book Review)
by Barbara Seranella
Scribner; ISBN: 0743212665; (May 2001)

Munch Mancini, Seranella's protagonist and alter ego (they share much of the same personal history), is in hot pursuit of a serial rapist-murderer (that's it - that's the plot). The Munch character is interesting enough (female mechanic to much of Hollywood, former drug abuser, and so on), but in this mystery, Seranella has turned her protagonist into a puppy dog lapping around with her tongue hanging out and all for a man. After three books, Munch's crush on homicide detective, Mace St. John is becoming tedious already, and threatens to turn the mystery into a romance novel, and trust me on this, Munch is not the usual romance heroine material, although that might have been a far more interesting slant - to have set Munch in a romance novel - than the premise of this book.

The rest of the characters were cookie-cutter and two dimensional, and the plot was as thin as one of Winona Ryder's Marc Jacob's dresses.

Unfinished Business was aptly titled. The novel seemed unfinished, slapped together to meet a deadline. Several times throughout the novel, and for 5-plus pages at a stretch, many pages at a time were simply filled with information direct from pamphlets or expert interviews. At times I felt like I was in a Guidance Counselor's office reading about volunteering at Meals-On-Wheels, working at a cancer fundraiser, or helping rape victims.

Does that mean that I think writers should erase their politics in order to write about them or those they feel strongly about? Absolutely not, but at least they should be skillful enough to have learned after three books and much critical acclaim to intertwine and synthesize the information gleaned from pamphlets and interviews instead of regurgitating it as a less-than average high school student might do on an essay test.

Start the story on page one, not on page fifteen. I mean that literally, not figuratively. Either by arrangement with the publisher, the agent, or the author herself, every page before the actual narrative began was counted in the page count. Don't cheat the reader and expect her to return.

I would not recommend this book to anyone unless it were as a recommendation for it to be used in a novel-writing class about how not to incorporate research into fiction.

Try something from Katy Munger, Liza Cody, Sparkle Hayter, or Janet Evanovich instead.

2002-11-02T12:20:00.000-08:00

EFF Analysis Of The Provisions Of The USA PATRIOT Act That Relate To Online Activities (Oct 31, 2001) via Stand Down

1. Be careful what you put in that Google search. The government may now spy on web surfing of innocent Americans, including terms entered into search engines, by merely telling a judge anywhere in the U.S. that the spying could lead to information that is "relevant" to an ongoing criminal investigation. The person spied on does not have to be the target of the investigation. This application must be granted and the government is not obligated to report to the court or tell the person spied up what it has done.

2002-11-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

The wild, wild Bush Boyz via Media Whores

Republicans always promise law and order. But last year, homicide, rape, robberies, burglaries, car thefts, and petty thefts all went up for the first time in 10 years. While those supposedly out-of-control big Eastern cities - which harbor the people least supportive of Bush in the 2000 presidential election - continued to have decreases in homicides, the Bush strongholds of the West, Midwest, and South had the biggest increases.

Now that we have more wounded travelers, neighbors, classmates, and teachers on the road to Jericho, the Bush Boyz are still on the other side. The economy has continued to drift and decline. The number of Americans without health insurance rose last year from 39.8 million to 41.2 million, or from 14.2 percent to 14.6 percent. The number of people living in poverty rose last year from 31.6 million to 32.9 million, or from 11.4 percent to 11.7 percent.

Median income fell nearly $1,000, from $43,162 to $42,228. This has been of no concern to the Bush Boyz. Sheriff George is still counting his pennies from the $848,000 he got selling Harken Energy stock, a sale that according to a recent report in the Globe looks more and more like a case of insider trading.

Deputy Cheney is still dragging his feet on releasing documents that might show whether his energy task force meetings had any influence on the administration's allegiance to Big Oil and its nearly complete dismissal of concerns about the environment. Facing a Nov. 5 deadline for releasing the documents, the Bush administration said this week it had only reviewed two of 12 boxes.

This does not exactly inspire trust over cynicism.

2002-11-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

The Art of the Squeeze Play: The Sopranos, #46 "Watching Too Much Television"

WIDOWS WEEDS AGAIN

Last week, Carmela wore her black widow's weeds as Tony signed the Living Trust, and this week, the widows attend Adriana's wedding shower. How many widows at Adriana's wedding shower? Christopher's mother, Adriana's mother, and Rosalie Aprile (who not only lost a husband, Jackie Senior, but she also lost a brother(?), Richie and a son, Jackie Junior). Three at present count, with the possibility of more to come.

Was the warning about how it was bad luck to cut a ribbon at a wedding shower meant as a portent? The kinds of gifts were centered around hearth and home - a Cuisinart, serving platters, cappucino makers, etc. They were matronly gifts. The shower chatter echoed Christopher's warning about how being married would mean no more late nights at the night club and settling down.

If Adriana marries Christopher, will she be the next Soprano family widow? Can she handle making thousands of cheese melts for Christopher?

I think not.

2002-11-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

The Art of the Squeeze Play: The Sopranos, #46 "Watching Too Much Television"

PERSONAL SQUEEZEPLAYS

- Adriana squeezes Christopher to marry her.

- Tony squeezes Ron Zellman, who squeezes Maurice Tiffen to go along with the inner city real estate scam.

- Carmela would like to squeeze Furio and Furio might want to reciprocate.

- Paulie Walnuts tries to squeeze Tony for more cash for his mother's care and for her Green Grove Retirement Community stay, and he later tries to squeeze Johnny Sacks at the restaurant when Paulie tries to squeeze by Johnny Sacks with his claim that he's not a complainer.

- Johnny Sacks may have the goods he needs to put the squeeze on Tony.

- Tony squeezes every last dime out of the crack houses.

- Zellman's conscience squeezes him when the kid asks him, "Is there gonna be a nice house here now?"

- Adriana wants to squeeze others for wedding swag

- Chris wants to squeeze his veins.

2002-11-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

The Art of the Squeeze Play: The Sopranos, #46 "Watching Too Much Television"

CULTURAL SQUEEZE PLAY

-Comparison/Contrast shots of Houses, Neighborhoods, Urban/Suburban

Exterior/Interior shots of Zellman's home show it to be a split-level modern in a cookie cutter suburban tract, yet on the inside, it's warm and lived in. Inside it's very much middle class, with plants, family pictures and heirlooms abound, plus there's a piano against one wall in the living room/dining room combination that's obviously played (sheet music was out and bench was worn).

Exterior/Interior shots of Maurice Tiffen's home show it to be a 2-story traditional Colonial on a tree-lined street with houses with yards, and on the inside there's lots of gleaming dark cherry/mahogany woodwork and an open stairwell with wooden finials. Opulent, traditional, leather tufted chairs are found in a wood paneled den with a fireplace, which puts it into an upper middle class range. Financially speaking, even though he's paying alimony to his ex-wife, Maurice is doing far better financially than Ron, who is separated from his wife, is doing.

Exterior/Interior shots of the Soprano home show it this season more than other seasons to be an enormous and almost cavernous house that looks cold, vacant and void; even some model homes look more lived in and homey than the Soprano's house. The furniture is cheesy, overstuffed modern leather furniture, and the woodwork is bleached/whitewashed blonde with a peaches and green color scheme. Most of the furnishings look like they fell off a truck even though Tony brags about how his house is worth three times what he paid for it during this episode. The most used piece of furniture on the house is the dining table and Tony's chair at the table.

-Comparison/Contrast of the drugs of choice in the neighborhoods

When the neighborhood residents approach Tony's Suburban, they ask him "smoke, crack, or crank?" Poor people's highs. Contrast those drugs with what Soprano family members are seen doing - cocaine, heroin and ecstasy. Only Meadow and AJ are ever seen doing any other recreational drugs - AJ smokes pot and Meadow has dabbled in E and crank to stay awake to study.

-Comparison/Contrast father and son

Tony and AJ - Generational differences squeeze between Tony and what he would like AJ to be - just a little smarter streetwise and more aware of what things are like on the 'mean streets,' even though Tony knows AJ doesn't have what it takes to make it in the Soprano family.

-Comparison/Contrast Mob culture vs. other cultures

In this episode, Mob culture says maximum return for minimum effort. A code of honor is supposed to be over all, yet rats and dishonorable behavior abounds. Counterculture says everyone is family, all are equal. How did Meadow get her name anyway?

2002-11-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

The Art of the Squeeze Play: The Sopranos, #46 "Watching Too Much Television"

COUNTERCULTURAL CONSCIOUSNESS & PANGS OF CONSCIENCE, or Doing the Right Thing vs. Doing "Our Thing"

Maurice Tiffen and Ron Zellman, chums and 60's Counterculture radicals at the University of Michigan, get involved in an inner-city real estate scam that Carmela's cousin Brian cooked up over breakfast after Paulie Walnuts' homecoming party at the Bada Bing, a party that left cousin Brian flat on his back on the strippers' stage without his pants on. At first, the real estate scam seems pleasing to all involved because everyone will get a piece of the action: Maurice's greed for money to pay first wife's alimony and Zellman's interest in lining his threadbare public-servant's pockets drive them to agree.

As the episode progressed, it became more and more apparent that thirty-plus years had changed the inner sense of each man's consciousness regarding "doing the right thing" as opposed to doing what will produce a "maximum return for minimum effort." For example, compare and contrast Maurice's comment about not being expected to be the only "honest men" as he and Zellman leave the Bada Bing after collecting their 10% vs. the attack of conscience look in Zellman's eyes and his body language as the black kid asks him about whether or not there'd be a new house built in the neighborhood, the same neighborhood that Zellman represents in the New Jersey Assembly.

Whereas both men used to look out for others and do the right thing, now they're in the game for themselves and involved in "Our Thing," yet will it finally dawn on Zellman that Tony was treating him as his whipping boy, just as Tony normally does? Will Zellman's emerging conscience allow him to continue to take his beatings or will he stand up and do the right thing for himself and his constituents?

2002-11-02T07:59:00.000-08:00

The Art of the Squeeze Play: The Sopranos, #46 "Watching Too Much Television"

RON ZELLMAN, TONY'S WHIPPING BOY

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel,
Like I been tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Good lord, I feel like I'm dyin'.
-Allman Brothers, 'Whipping Post"

Tony, his rage seething, says to Zellman as he takes off his belt, "Of all the girls in New Jersey, you had to fuck this one?" Was Tony upset because Assemblyman Zellman had muscled in on his property (Irina) or was he also upset because Zellman had made Irina unclean for him because Zellman is a Jew? Was that about Tony's 'property' being defiled or defaced in more ways than one? Was that racial violence? What was Tony's moral code behind that violent eruption?

TS started out whipping Zellman about the chest, back and shoulders, much as a master would have belt-whipped/strapped a slave, but still as an adult-adult dynamic, even though one was the owner and the other was the owned. However, Tony's looming over Zellman as he spanked the Assemblyman's ass with the belt at the end of that scene reminded me of a parent or adult looming over a child that was being abused, thus changing the dynamic ot that of adult-child. The way the camera shot TS from the floor up to exaggerate his size and importance and TS's whipping of the bum reminded me of that.

Was Tony having a flashback to his childhood as he played out that scene with Zellman? Is he getting close to hitting bottom, to having a complete catharsis?

Tony's comment at the end of the whipping, "Go ahead, cry like a bitch," echoed his own tears on the way to Zellman's house, and no doubt echoed what he heard while growing up. His tears in the Suburban on the way to Zellman's house come at the song, "Oh Girl" by the Chi-Lites, a song about a troubled man who says this about love and how to accept and embrace it, "I don’t know where to look for love, I just don’t know how." It's clear that Tony's never had a loving relationship model to follow and that he's lying to himself and to Melfi about being able to control and suppress his anger.

2002-11-02T07:38:00.000-08:00

The Art of the Squeeze Play: The Sopranos, #46 "Watching Too Much Television"

TONY SOPRANO, MIDNIGHT RIDER

I got to run to keep from hiding
And I'm bound to keep on riding
And I've got one more silver dollar
But I'm not gonna let them catch me, no
Not gonna let them catch the midnight rider
-Allman Brothers, "Midnight Rider"

Is Tony honestly trying to tame his demons or is he beyond help? Is he actually capable of sustaining personal growth? He keeps showing over and over again that although he'd like to see himself as the "strong and silent type," he's unable to do so. He can't break the cycle of violence and abuse that he has come to internalize.

Perhaps in order to give AJ a sense of his place in the Soprano family history -- since Tony already told Melfi at the end of the third season that AJ doesn't have what it takes to make it in the family (even though Ax's panic attacks are just like Tony's and his father's) -- and to give AJ some kind of context, Tony is returning to old neighborhoods and is giving fatherly advice to buy real estate, much like Uncle Junior or his father might have done with him. I say might because Tony's own father spent much of his life in prison. Was Uncle Junior the best role model Tony had while he was growing up? When I say role model, I mean that in a positive way, in a way that would model normalcy for Tony - going to a baseball game, tossing a baseball around the yard, visiting the old neighborhood - that Ward & Wally Cleaverish kind of thing.

I can't see Uncle Junior's having starting the abuse cycle with Tony and since his father wasn't around, that leaves his mother, Livia as the probable culprit. After all, would a mother who loved her child put a hit out on him? Talk about a cycle of abuse!

Although it's made clear during Tony and Carmela's trip to the military school that they considered for AJ at the third season's conclusion (EP#39, "Army Of One") that Tony believes in but doesn't practice the "spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy of child-rearing, I've noticed throughout the seasons that Tony hasn't subjected AJ or Meadow to seeing/experiencing any of his violent behavior in person, whereas I don't know for certain if that's how it was for Tony as he was growing up. I'm betting on Livia's being the child abuser in that house.

TS has made enough comments throughout the seasons indicating how he feels about whiners and cry babies, or those who use their abused childhoods as excuses for their behavior or situations now. What he seems unwilling to confront, however, is that he has most likely been an abused child and that many of his emotional problems as an adult can probably be traced back to his childhood. Until he gets straight with himself and his upbringing, the cycle of abuse will most likely continue.

2002-11-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

Outrunning the self

Renee, who has one of the loveliest blogs I've yet to see (I think she could be making a fine living illustrating children's books!), says in one of her Friday Fives:

Change is not bad. Change is necessary. I think I cannot run so far or so fast as to outrun myself or my shadow; when I try to feel in a ways incompatible with with my inner compass, my truthsense, it tells me to stop.

This resonates deeply with me. I feel as though recently I'm trying to do just the opposite of what I should be doing, which is listening to my "truthsense" and embracing the shadow part of me.

2002-11-01T05:45:00.000-08:00

Hope This Helps

A payment of $10.00 has been sent to National Novel Writing Month.
Item Name: National Novel Writing Month

2002-11-01T05:35:00.000-08:00

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo)

I've signed up for the 2002 NaNoWriMo. it's just a "50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time."

Save me. Or at least give me a better working title than This Space Blank.

That blogger will be at Pocket Litter's 2002 NaNoWriMo blog.

2002-10-31T12:29:00.000-08:00

Multiple Intelligence Inventory from Dormouse's LiveJournal.

My results:
Linguistic 43
Mathematics 38
Visual/Spatial 48
Body/Kinesthetic 38
Naturalistic 37
Music 44
Interpersonal 35
Intrapersonal 44

Howard Gardner is the expert in the Multiple Intelligences field.

2002-10-31T08:49:00.000-08:00

Berkeley - Native male leopard frogs throughout the nation's Corn Belt are being feminized by an herbicide, atrazine, used extensively to kill weeds on the country's leading export crops, corn and soybeans, according to a survey conducted by University of California, Berkeley, biologists and reported this week in Nature.

The UC Berkeley scientists also showed that male leopard frogs raised in laboratory tanks contaminated with atrazine develop egg cells in their testes and essentially turn into hermaphrodites. These sexual abnormalities were observed at atrazine levels as low as 0.1 parts per billion (ppb), 30 times lower than the current allowable limit for atrazine in drinking water set by the Environmental Protection Agency.

These findings, added to earlier evidence that atrazine demasculinizes two other species of frog, suggest that the herbicide could be a factor in the decline of frogs and other amphibians in the United States and around the world, the authors say. Atrazine has been used on crops since 1956 and currently is the most widely used herbicide in the nation.

"These studies clearly indicate that atrazine is detrimental to amphibians," said study author Tyrone Hayes, associate professor of integrative biology at UC Berkeley.

At the least, he said, atrazine is altering amphibian populations in large areas of the United States. His field studies show that frogs seem to adapt, since leopard frogs (Rana pipiens) - the most common frogs in the Midwest - are often abundant in some of the corn growing areas region where atrazine is used most. Atrazine may feminize male tadpoles and turn them into female frogs, he said, or it may render some males infertile. Alternatively, atrazine may favor tadpoles that delay sexual differentiation until after they've turned into frogs and leave the contaminated water.

"Atrazine is potentially destroying biodiversity," said Hayes, now engaged in studies to determine the ultimate fate of these feminized tadpoles. "In my opinion, this is an unacceptable risk."

Note: This story has been adapted from a news release issued for journalists and other members of the public. If you wish to quote any part of this story, please credit University Of California - Berkeley as the original source.

Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas by Tom Robbins

2002-10-31T08:33:00.000-08:00

THAT’S METAPHYSICALLY ABSURD, MAN

"If you need to visualize the soul, think of it as a cross between a wolf howl, a photon, and a dribble of dark molasses. But what it really is, as near as I can tell, is a packet of information. It’s a program, a piece of hyperspatial software designed explicitly to interface with the Mystery. Not a mystery, mind you, the Mystery. The one that can never be solved.

"To one degree or another, everybody is connected to the Mystery, and everybody secretly yearns to expand the connection. That requires expanding the soul. These things can enlarge the soul: laughter, danger, imagination, meditation, wild nature, passion, compassion, psychedelics, beauty, iconoclasm, and driving around in the rain with the top down. These things can diminish it: fear, bitterness, blandness, trendiness, egotism, violence, corruption, ignorance, grasping, shining, and eating ketchup on cottage cheese.

"Data in our psychic program is often nonlinear, nonhierarchical, archaic, alive, and teeming with paradox. Simply booting up is a challenge, if not for no other reason than that most of us find acknowledging the unknowable and monitoring its intrusions upon the familiar and mundane more than a little embarrassing.

"But say you’ve inflated your soul to the size of a beach ball and it’s soaking into the Mystery like wine into a mattress. What have you accomplished? Well, long term, you may have prepared yourself for a successful metamorphosis, an almost inconceivable transformation to be precipitated by your death or by some great worldwide eschatological whoopjamboreehoo. You may have. No one can say for sure.

"More immediately, by waxing soulful you will have granted yourself the possibility of ecstatic participation in what the ancients considered a divinely animated universe. And on a day to day basis, folks, it doesn’t get any better than that."

By Tom Robbins, Esquire, October, 1993 (page 164) as forwarded by Michael "I’m not allowed to argue unless you pay for another five minutes" Dare.

2002-10-31T07:30:00.000-08:00

Not the Un-Clinton After All

[T]he myth of Bush as a bipartisan president who operates above the fray is relentlessly promoted by Bush and his minions. Just this week on the campaign trail, Bush took credit for a huge increase in education funding. Yet he has cut funding below what it was last year, making a mockery of the “Leave No Child Behind” education bill he signed last year with Sen. Ted Kennedy’s blessing. Bush uses words and rhetoric to create an image quite different from reality, a tactic that would normally invite condemnation from both the media and political foes.

Eleanor Clift's latest Newsweek column lays it on the line about Shrub. Gutsy gal and one of the few reasons I still bother watching the McLaughlin Group on PBS.

2002-10-31T07:01:00.000-08:00

Wired News: When the Spam Hits the Blogs

Referral logs, intended to collect information on who visited a website and how they happened to arrive there, are being stuffed with bogus links....Referral marketing services Mastodonte and Datashaping did not immediately reply to e-mails requesting comment, but Francois Lane of Mastodonte defended himself on Blogroots with a posted comment that read in part:

"I'll adapt or I'll discontinue. I'm not planning on becoming the major annoyance of the blogging world.... I'm not too worried my reputation. Marketing is all about being innovative, different, adaptive, taking risks and knowing how to use the technology. I'm trying to be all that."

2002-10-31T06:23:00.000-08:00

Privacy Groups Sue Over Patriot Act

Two major privacy and civil liberties groups are preparing to file lawsuits this week to force the Bush administration to disclose more information about how it has been using the USA Patriot Act.

The organizations, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and the Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC), say the legal action could come as early as Thursday, two days shy of the one-year anniversary of the legislation's signing by President Bush.

I heart the ACLU.

2002-10-31T06:19:00.000-08:00

Report: Gov't Shares Personal Data

A report released Wednesday by congressional investigators found government agencies frequently share information gleaned from various federal applications — sometimes without the applicant's knowledge of where it might go. And it's legal.

"People are generally unaware of all of the sharing," said Ari Schwartz of the Center for Democracy and Technology, a civil liberties organization based in Washington.

The information sharing ranges from passport application data — which can be shared with foreign governments — to details on farm loan applications. The law requires that agencies that receive the applicant's form must disclose how they use the information....

Federal information-sharing agreements and the convenience of sharing computer data make swapping Americans' most sensitive personal information easy to do.

Investigators found the agencies largely complied with federal information sharing and privacy regulations.

"These four agencies' handling of personal information varied greatly — including the types and amount collected — and a wide range of personnel had access to the information," investigators wrote. "We did, however, note isolated instances of forms that were not accurate or current, and other forms that did not contain the proper privacy notices."

The four forms were the Education Department's student aid request, Agriculture's standard loan form for farmers, Labor's federal worker's compensation form and a passport application from the State Department.

The sharing is allowed under an exception in the Privacy Act, which protects a person's information from sharing without prior consent. Called the "routine use exception," agencies must make a public statement in the Federal Register every time they want to share data in a new way....

Up to 13 different types of State Department workers — from civil service clerks and foreign workers at U.S. embassies to employees at Mellon Bank, which handles some passport renewals — have access to passport application data.

Too much information sharing for me. Too much like spammers and those grocery-store databases. The database is God.

2002-10-30T15:21:00.000-08:00

See what happens when a story about your comic appears in Newsweek?

Get Your War On

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2002-10-30T15:18:00.000-08:00

Sugary-coated peanuts are leaving litter all over my Bucky.

2002-10-30T15:11:00.000-08:00

From Davezilla via Portia

Your Porn Star Name is Burgundy South Lincoln
Your Blues Singer Name is Sad and Depressed Roosevelt
Your Punk Rock Band is called the Fizzy Guavas
Your name as an extra in "Star Wars" is Flapdoodle the Swiffer Swiffer

Why am I not surprised?

2002-10-30T11:59:00.000-08:00

Embryos Now Labeled 'Human Subjects'

[T]he revised wording is seen as a political victory for those who favor increased protections for the unborn. In September, the administration enacted a new policy that allows states to include "unborn children" from the moment of conception in the Children's Health Insurance Program.

The revised charter also could be the start of a process that could result in greater restrictions on embryo research at some fertility clinics, universities and research labs, said The Washington Post, which first reported the development Wednesday.

Scientists have increasingly turned to embryos to improve understanding of birth defects and infertility, and as a source of embryonic stem cells, which researchers hope to turn into therapies for a variety of degenerative diseases.

KING GEORGE MUST GO!

2002-10-30T06:01:00.000-08:00

Hard-boiled News

• Dave Zeltserman launches a new quarterly web-zine, Hardluck Stories Zine, with new hard-boiled and noir fiction and related articles.

Zeltserman himself offers "The City of Wonderful People: a Short Essay on Jim Thompson" in the premiere issue of the Hardluck Stories Zine.

Thompson wrote twenty-nine books that ranged from literary to crime fiction to noir. While all of his books have certain recurrent dark themes which swirl through them, only six fall under the “mind of the killer” category. Those six – Killer Inside Me, Hell of a Woman, Savage Night, A Swell-Looking Babe, Pop. 1280 and Nothing More Than Murder – take the reader on nightmarish, dizzying journeys otherwise unseen in the annals of crime fiction.

• Victor Gischler's Column, "Hard-boiled Dixie at PLOTS WITH GUNS!, a hardboiled Zine. I'm looking forward to reading Gishler's latest offering, The Pistol Poets.

2002-10-29T20:34:00.000-08:00

ONWARD THROUGH THE FOG

Legalizing pot is on the Nevada ballot this fall

Question 9—an initiative to legalize pot, making it OK to carry as many as three ounces of marijuana for private recreational purposes—pops up on the Nevada Nov. 5 ballot....

SINCE 1996, EIGHT STATES have passed laws legalizing medical marijuana—even as the federal government continues to maintain it is illegal and occasionally stages raids on marijuana clubs. But Nevada is the first state to seriously consider outright legalization. Most stunning of all is that Question 9 could actually win—a prospect that has both the Bush administration and the gaming industry taking notice. Polls, both from local newspapers and the pro-pot group Nevadans for Responsible Law Enforcement, show a tight race

Ex-undersheriff backs Question 9

Don Denison, who was undersheriff in the early 1980s, says he supports the legalization of up to 3 ounces of marijuana for adults.

"There are thousands and thousands of users of marijuana in the Las Vegas Valley from all professions -- they are our neighbors and our friends," said Denison, who is retired. "Do we make them criminals or allow them to smoke in the privacy of their homes and not bother people?"

Court Backs Doctors on Marijuana

A federal appeals court ruled for the first time Tuesday that the government cannot revoke doctors' prescription licenses for recommending marijuana to sick patients.

A three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals (news - web sites) unanimously found that the Justice Department (news - web sites)'s policy interferes with the free-speech rights of doctors and patients.

"An integral component of the practice of medicine is the communication between doctor and a patient. Physicians must be able to speak frankly and openly to patients," Chief Circuit Judge Mary Schroeder said.

The 9th Circuit upheld a 2-year-old court order prohibiting the government from stripping doctors of their licenses to dispense medication. The policy was blocked before any licenses were actually revoked.

9th Circuit Court's Opinion: Conant v. Walters (FindLaw) [PDF]

2002-10-29T13:17:00.000-08:00

Cheney Won't Be at Wellstone Service

The family of Sen. Paul Wellstone asked Vice President Dick Cheney to stay away...

Wellstones To Cheney: Stay Home

Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, and several others are expected to speak.

"I'm just going to talk about Paul Wellstone's legacy, what he meant to us as a party, but also as a Senator," Harkin said in Iowa Monday. "Paul Wellstone was sort of a mirror for all of us to look into and see what we believed in, what we stood for and how much we were willing to fight for what we believe in."

At Request of Wellstones, Cheney Will Not Attend Memorial

The family was also uncomfortable at the prospect of attendance by Mr. Cheney, who helped to push Norm Coleman into the race against Mr. Wellstone and to guide the Republican's aggressive campaign before Friday's fatal plane crash....

Outside in the parking lot, the broken-down green bus that Mr. Wellstone used to traverse the state in each of his three campaigns, will be the depository for flowers, signs and other memorial gifts.

Tonight's service will be a grass-roots affair

Paul Wellstone will remain a populist to the end.

Good for the family!

2002-10-29T13:01:00.000-08:00

EW Grade: A-

Bauer has grown an unkempt beard, is wearing an untucked, unattractive flannel shirt, and looks about as happy as a ''Survivor'' contestant who's just been handed monkey dung as a food reward.

Heh!

2002-10-29T12:53:00.000-08:00

'24' is more relevant and gripping than ever

"24' walks a mean tightrope: It insists that audiences eschew normal viewing patterns -- that is, tune in and watch religiously rather than casually -- a demand that might be unrealistic in an age of seemingly boundless viewing choices. On the basis of two episodes available for preview, it looks to reward that devotion.

2002-10-29T12:44:00.000-08:00

Nuclear safety hinges on Bauer as clock ticks

When "24" was renewed, there was some talk — particularly among Fox executives — about changing its real-time format to something more enticing to a larger audience.

Executive producer and co-creator Robert Cochran "waffled all over the place" on keeping the same format. "We'd used up a lot of good stuff in that first season, and could we do it again, and maybe we'd be better off not trying to do it again.

"Plan B for this year — if we didn't keep doing what we'd been doing — was to have each show take place in 24 hours. You could still keep the title and you'd still be playing with time. . . . We actually wrote a prototype script for that and we read it and we said, `It just ain't the show, it just ain't the same.' "

That doesn't mean this is the same "24."

"We think we can retain the elements that made last year special without repeating the stories," Cochran says. "In other words: the thriller move, the pace, the intensity, the surprises, the shocks. . . . But it will be a different story being told."

Will TV execs ever learn not to tweak a good thing?

2002-10-29T12:34:00.000-08:00

Jack’s funk mirrors dark side of new 24

Kiefer Sutherland returns as a deeply lawless Bauer, more antihero now than hero. But do you really want a hero when the world could be blown to smithereens? Isn’t apocalypse a good enough reason to ditch scruples?

Action shows don’t ask their questions outright, but trust me, there’s a timely query here.

The first thing we see as "8:00-9:00 AM" opens is terrible people in South Korea torturing the heck out of some poor fellow. And these are the goodguys. At the behest of American National Security Administration operatives, they prod him until he divulges that a cell of Middle Eastern terrorists called Second Wave has its hands on a nuclear device and is about to detonate it over our beloved Los Angeles.

And without so much as a gasp of a doubt that torture is ever justified, we’re racing along with what promises to be another vivid, engrossing tale. Yes, the bloom is off the novelty of having each weekly episode convey one hour of the same day, but this darker new 24 packs explosive surprises (which Sutherland begged critics not to spoil at the beginning of the twoepisode preview tape Fox sent).

I remember thinking as we watched last year that despite its narrative novelty, 24 was set in a conventional post-Vietnam fictional world in which the great fish of government always seems to be rotting from the head down. The trustworthy hero clings to decency against all odds. Ah, but the antihero inhabits a darker universe in which trust is beside the point. The point is winning.

2002-10-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

Thrill a Minute for '24's' Hours Season premiere's gore spices the series' compelling tension

If the Fox thriller "24" is looking to build its audience beyond the diehard critics and fan cult of its much- praised first season, the show sure chooses a dire way to do it. Tonight's second-season opener kicks off with a gruesome torture scene, and before the hour is out, our secret agent "hero" is doing nasty things to a baddie with a hacksaw - the results of which are graphically evident in next week's followup.

Welcome to "24" world. The stakes are high. They're not for the squeamish. And the producers' storytelling bravura grabs your guts from the first tense second and doesn't let go.

Like last year's Emmy-winning series premiere (the statue went to creator-writers Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran), tonight's return ranges far and wide - from torture in Seoul to fishing in Oregon to a wedding in Los Angeles - and it digs deep, too. Golden Globe winner Kiefer Sutherland is more inscrutably compelling than ever as Jack Bauer, once the bold L.A. Counter Terrorist Unit commander, now a morose slacker mourning his wife's murder during last season's case and his teen daughter Kim's subsequent avoidance of the father she blames.

2002-10-29T10:12:00.000-08:00

Hens Saved from Execution on Stage

BERLIN (Reuters) - Two hens escaped public execution during performance of a play when animal lovers stormed the stage, a spokeswoman for an animal shelter in the south German town of Wuerzburg said on Tuesday.

What is the world coming to?

2002-10-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

Crime Writer Says She's Got the Ripper's DNA

Maybe injecting some of it would help Patsy write something that wasn't drivel.

2002-10-29T09:51:00.000-08:00

A Tale of Two Winonas

2002-10-29T08:26:00.000-08:00

Clock Reset, Agent Bauer Returns to Work

David Palmer is the first black president of the United States, but nobody seems to notice. The matter-of-fact way ""24" has placed him in the White House just hints at how this clever suspense series — one of the most compelling to arrive last season — toys with and enhances reality. As the second season begins (tonight on Fox), it is a year after Jack Bauer, a C.I.A. agent in the counterterrorism unit, has saved Palmer, then a senator, from assassination. Jack (played by Kiefer Sutherland with low-key intensity and a notable lack of vanity) is on leave from his job, unkempt and despondent because the events that tangled his family in the assassination attempt also caused the death of his wife.

I can't wait for this show to start again! It was possibly one of the most exciting and innovative television show I can ever recall seeing, and I can remember when TV only came in black and white and Ed Sullivan ruled Sunday night and game shows were erudite instead of insipid.

2002-10-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

My favorite Lip balm, bar none:

Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm, with Vitamin E and Comfrey (Product Review)

Product name or line: Burts Bees

Brief background on product/mfr: Start a pictoral overview here.

After the founder captured a swarm of bees, the company worked out of an abandonded one-room schoolhouse in rural Maine and started selling various bee products at craft fairs in Maine in the 1980s. The 1990s saw expansion into an old bowling alley in Guliford, Maine, and sales of beesewax candles led to great success, so more expansion was necessary. In 1994, the company moved to Creedmoor, NC (Raleigh area) and in 1996, Burt's Bees moved to Raleigh proper with a new world-wide distribution center and warehouse.

Price: Ususally under $2 in stores, but full retail is $2.50. It's $1.99 at drugstore.com and that's the price I paid for it at Wild Oats.

Where sold?: Some health food stores such as Wild Oats, some local drugstores, drugstore.com, Burt's Bees.

Packaging: Either a .30 oz tin or a plastic stick tube.

Color: Pale beeswax color, a very light buff yellow.

Appearance/Fragrance/odor: Combination of coconut, almond, and peppermint.

Texture: Smooth and light balm/pomade.

Taste: Negligable light peppermint.

Ingredients: Coconut Oil, Beeswax, Sweet Almond Oil, Peppermint Oil, Tocopheryl Acetate, Tocopherol (Vitamin E), Lanolin, Comfrey Root Extract, Rosemary Extract

Application/Directions for use: I get the tins and apply directly to my lips from the tin.

Results as promised? Effectiveness?: If you have chapped, cracked, or sun/wind-burned lips, this is the balm for you. The balm is tingly, but it's a cool peppermint tingle, and it doesn't easily lick off.

Pros: No sticks to break off with the tins. I never have to get my fingers into the balm because I can just tip the tin up to my lips and apply. Works out great! The lid stays on the tin.

Bottom Line: Stock up!

I am not being compensated in any way, shape, or form for any product review.

2002-10-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

LATHER AHA Hand Creme with Evening Primrose (Product Review)

LATHER AHA Hand Creme with Evening Primrose

Product name or line: Lather

Brief background on product/mfr: The Lather product line was devised in 1999 by Emilie Davidson Hoyt, who has a history of migraines from which she found relief through natural products.

Price: $16 for 4ozs. on Lather site and in stores that carry Lather, or $18 for 5.5 ozs. at QVC.com

Where sold?: Two stores in California (Pasadena and Hollywood) with a third on the way (San Jose), at an online presence at latherup.com, at Henri Bendel's Fifth Avenue store in New York, at select Nordstrom's, and selected products may be ordered at QVC.com. The products are also carried at seven other retailers sprinkled throughout the States.

Packaging: Plain packaging is one of the line's trademarks. The premise is that the cost goes into the ingredients and not into the packaging or paid celebrity endorsements. White generic bottle, black cap that raises up with the push of a finger, light blue rectangle bleeding into company lettering, black text.

Appearance/Fragrance/odor: Pure white, lime scent is prevalent, so anyone could use this hand creme.

Texture: Soft and creamy light whipped pudding.

Ingredients: deionized water, aloe vera gel, stearyl alcohol, glycerin, ceteareth 20 (vegetable), octyl palmitate, decyl oleate, peg-100 stearate, mixed fruit acid (AHA), safflower oil, evening primrose oil, hydrolyzed oat protein, bladderwrack extract, arnica extract, cyclomethicone(quartz), grapeseed extract, decyl polyglucose, lime extract, xanthan gum, vitamin E acetate, cetyl alcohol, essential oil of chamomile, essential oil of lemongrass, methylparaben, diazolidinyl urea, essential oil blend, propylparaben

Application/Directions for use: Slather it on!

Results as promised? Effectiveness?: The jar says it's a "regenerating alpha-hydroxy hand treatment." Regenerating? I haven't grown any new or additional fingers from its use. The Lather site says, "AHA encourages cell renewal that effectively minimizes the appearance of wrinkles and age spots." My hands are as soft as a baby's bum after nearly a year's worth of use, so the cell renewal must be happening. Other than a few freckles leftover from childhood, I haven't many age spots or wrinkles on my hands, so I can't speak to that part of the product's hype.

Pros: This hand treatment is wonderful, and in a pinch, it substitutes as a light and fluffy face cream. I try not to be without this product.

Cons: Price per oz. = $64 per pound. Ouch and ouch again, but I'm sold on it.

Value: Before I tried this creme, I had not been able to find a hand lotion that did the trick yet didn't leave my hands greasy or heavily-scented.

Bottom Line: If the price is too steep for one product, or if you, dear reader, would like to try a 2 oz. size of it and some of the other Lather products, it's available here as a part of a seven-piece sampler.

I am not being compensated in any way, shape, or form for any product review.

2002-10-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

50 Things About Me (meme)

1. Your name spelled backwards:

Nna.

2. Where were your parents born?

One at home and one in hospital.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

Another bloody M$ patch. Addendum: Yesterday I downloaded two absolutely gorgeous photos for Autumn wallpaper at alifeuncommon.

4. What’s your favorite restaurant?

Unfortunately, it's a little Thai joint a couple of states away from me.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?

Fourth of July weekend sometime during the late 80s. Chlorine allergies.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?

Absolutely.

7. How many kids do you want?

I've nearly reached my shelf-life in that area.

8. Type of music you dislike most?

Screechy opera, metal, and anything with a heavy rap-style bassthump that I can hear through my walls from the street.

9. Are you registered to vote?

Yes, but apparently the SCOTUS doesn't think it matters.

10. Do you have cable?

Yes.

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?

Yes.

12. Ever prank call anybody?

No

13. Ever get a parking ticket?

No.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

I'd like to think that I could, but I know myself too well.

15. Furthest place you ever traveled?

Don't you mean farthest?

16. Do you have a garden?

Not after the first hard frost or while there's snow on the ground, I don't.

17. What’s your favorite comic strip?

Bloom County; Calvin & Hobbes; Doonesbury; The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

Yes, but that high note is hella hard to pronounce.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?

Shower, morning and as needed.

20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?

David Lynch's The Straight Story on The Independent Film Channel
and Donnie Darko on some cable channel.

21. Favorite pizza toppings?

Fresh Spinach, portabellos, fresh red peppers, extra mozarella.

22. Chips or popcorn?

Nachos.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?

Lip balm or a light lip tint.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?

In my misspent youth, I was down to seeds and stems many times, but I've never been that hard up.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

No. They're Vile Things. One of my cousins and his wife subject their daughter to those crazy kiddy pageants, which I think are just this side of kp.

26. Orange Juice or apple?

Neither. Cranberry and V-8.

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?

A colleague. Some trendy bistro with great artwork for sale on the walls.

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?

I like Twin Bings, Bit-o-Honey, Milk Duds, Heath Bars, and Salted Nut Rolls.

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?

2000. What a bad joke that turned out to be.

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

Last summer.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?

Yes.

32. Are you a good cook?

"Good" doesn't even begin to cover it.

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?

Yes. I've even been in long, snaking-around-blocks lines to do so.

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?

Yes.

35. Sprite or 7-up?

Vernors.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?

Yes. Isn't most clothing a uniform of some kind or another?

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?

Medicine, Sheer Bandaids & St. Joseph's Baby Asprin.

38. Ever throw up in public?

Too many times to recount.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?

Both are highly overrated.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Attraction, lust, interest, yes, but love? I'm not so sure about that.

41. Ever call a 1-900 number?

No.

42. Can ex’s be friends?

Some can, yes.

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?

My Grandfather.

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?

Yes. Surprisingly enough, it came attached to the top of my head.

45. What message is on your answering machine?

The one that came preloaded.

46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?

Todd DiLaMuca and Lisa Loopner. I'm an old school SNL fan and watched the first show air live. Some of the current characters are funny.

47. What was the name of your first pet?

I can't remember, but it was a cream Cocker Spaniel.

48. What is in your purse?

How much time do you have? It's a messenger bag.

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?

Check the doors, wash my face, brush my teeth, evacuate my bladder and then wash my hands and slather on the appropriate lotions. Turn off the lights, get into bed, get out of bed and check the doors again. Rinse, lather, and repeat until I collapse or finally sleep, whichever comes first.

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?

Same as every day: Air.

I can't find the original source for this 50 Things meme. Imagine that.

2002-10-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Essential Blogging
By Cory Doctorow, Rael Dornfest, J. Scott Johnson, Shelley Powers, Benjamin Trott, Mena G. Trott (Book Review)

Essential Blogging is useful and well-written. Its liberal use of screenshots from various blogging tools would be helpful to visual learners such as I am as well as to those who like to look and comparison shop before they decide what tool to select for the job. Not only did I find the sections about the desktop clients useful, but I also found the sections that allowed me to compare/contrast Blogger and Blogger Pro with Movable Type extremely helpful to me. I would have been interested in more information on Greymatter, LiveJournal, and Manilla.

After reading this book, I plan to switch to Movable Type as soon as I get a proper domain and host. I'm choosing MT because I think it'll allow me to do what I want it to do and I don't think I'll really have to understand exactly how it works to get started on it. Before reading this book, I had been concerned that I'd have to know Perl and other highly technical server-type things to even think about using MT, but that is simply not the case. MT will definitely allow me to drive the make of car that I want to drive how I want to drive it. It helped me realize that I could do this.

As I read, if I had a question of the "how-in-the-hell-do-I-do-that" nature, it was usually answered within a page or two. I highly recommend this book to those who are just starting to blog as well as those who may be interested in switching tools.

2002-10-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

The Proper Tools for the Job

Since arthritis and fibro make it difficult for me to knead bread, and at times it's even hard for me to mix up a batch of cookies, I kindly treated myself to the KitchenAid Artisan Series 5-Quart Mixer in Empire Red and am furiously plotting to whom I shall leave it upon my demise. So far, one of my second cousins who is still in high school is on the lead lap.

I'm enamored of the pouring shield, for I was a spatter hound with my puny and on-its-last-leg hand-held mixer. My kitchen looked like a CSI crime scene with requisite batter spatter everywhere. The 325 watts of power should provide enough oomph and the 5 quart bowl should be enough room for me to mix up any recipe I want to tackle for the day. A flat beater, dough hook, and lovely fat wire whisk came with it, and I'd love to find some used attachments somewhere, maybe on eBay or at a thrift shop or an auction. I'd definitely like to be able to use it as a meat grinder, as a can opener, as a shredder, and as a pasta machine.

I wanted tilt-up beaters instead of the usual bowl-lift that's the hallmark of Kitchen Aid Professional, or Epicurean models, because that's the model that I was the most familiar with; it was the one I used when I first learned to cook. My mother had received the older tilt-up model as a cast-off from my maternal grandmother, and it was at least 20 years old then, yet it lasted for at least another 25 years. I'd also heard some tales of the difficulty of detaching the beater/hook/whisk on the bowl-lift models and didn't want a different kind of mess on my hands as a result of a poor engineering design.

Overall, I'm extremely pleased with my treat. Now, where's that yeast?

2002-10-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hilarious Bedsheet Boy pictorial via Not Sleeping, Dreaming and Blog Snob

2002-10-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

It's a Topsy Turvy World: The Sopranos, #45 "Everybody Hurts"

Michael Imperioli wrote episode #45, "Everybody Hurts," and Steve Buscemi directed it. The episode could just as easily have been called "It's All Relative." Everybody hurts and in more ways than one. Throughout this episode, people learn and show that everything is indeed all relative.

It's Almost High Noon

Tony tells relative-in law Christopher Moltisanti (Tony's cousin-in-law from Carmela's side of the family) who is on the nod when he takes Tony's call, to meet him in a parking lot in 20 minutes. Once there, with Furio (more on him later) waiting in the car, Tony notices that something seems wrong with Christopher, but he thinks the kid is drunk instead of high. Then Tony tells Christopher that he's going to turn over the business to Christopher (who is a spring chicken compared to Silvio) because Tony expects Christopher to lead the business into the 21st Century, which Christopher foolishly reminds Tony that they're already in. In order to insulate himself from giving a direct order to others, Tony plans to make a junkie the future of the Soprano family and he doesn't even know what century he's in. Doesn't bode well for the relative future of the 'family.'

Tony discovers from Carmela that Gloria Trillo, whom Carmela naively sees as that "nice saleslady" - the one who gave her a ride home that one day (perception is all relative), has committed suicide by hanging herself. Tony is filled with remorse and guilt. Gloria, who had stalked and threatened Carmela. Gloria, to whom Tony had made clear through Patsy Parisi that if she ever contacted him or his family again that he'd have Patsy wack her. Gloria, who, as Tony nearly strangled her to death himself, begged Tony to kill her himself. Gloria, whom Tony saw in Dr. Melfi's waiting room. The Gloria who reminded him of his mother. That Gloria.

The scene with Tony and Dr. Melfi in her office was one of the best ones of the year so far. Full of rage, fear, guilt on both character's parts, all very palpable and teetering on the edge of violence, but Melfi, who understands brinksmanship far better than Tony does, isn't the one who blinks. "Why the pangs of conscience" now, she asks him and scores a direct hit. Near the end of their session, after Tony confesses to Dr. Melfi (to whom he'd said in the First Season that his mother would have been happy if he had married her instead of Carmela) that he felt guilty for not being available to help Gloria (a nice bit of historical revisionism on his part, given that he'd already put a hit on her if she bothered him or his family again) Tony tells Dr. Melfi that he's done with it (the two suicides) and that as far as he's concerned the matter is closed. He feels that he's cleansed himself by making a donation to a suicide crisis hotline, a place for help, but anonymous help. He still doesn't get it, but then what could one expect from a person whose own mother put a hit on him?

As a result of his guilt, after leaving Melfi's office, Tony goes on a guilt spree, trying to convince himself and others that he's a good person, a person who cares, a person who is emotionally available to and for others. He has a desperate need to be seen as a good person and not as a "toxic person" (and we're back to the ducks again). However, some of the decisions that he makes as a result of this trying-to-make-amends stage that he's going through may very well come back to do him in, much as the airline tickets did when Livia tried to use them to go to Seattle to see Janice.

He confronts Artie about going to Ralphie Cifaretto instead of him to ask for money and then he peels three large out of his pocket and makes a bad loan for the rest of the 50K to Artie for the Armagnac deal. To add insult to his own perceived injury (people not trusting him to make everything right - part of his God "good-guy-Gary Cooper-High-Noon" complex?), Tony grabs a cigar and a bottle of Armagnac as he goes out Artie's door and starts chugging it. While he tries to make nice with Janice over dinner, and even though he intends to give her his blessing, he offends her yet again (the last time it was his prophetic warning about Ralphie Cifaretto) with his questions about, according to her, her "love life" with Bobby Bacala Baccilieri; he gives Patsy Parisi's (the infamous pool pisser) name to Carmela's cousin Brian; he gives in to Carmela (wearing widow's weeds of black as Tony signs the paperwork for the living trust, btw) about the trust fund; and he has a nightmare about Gloria.

Tony's Dream Pastiche: Gloria's black 'Isadora Duncan' silk chiffon scarf, already loosely looped around her neck and hiding the strangulation marks, drapes and twists around Tony, as if it were about to choke him. She goes to the 'Sylvia Plath' oven containing something that needed basting. The chandelier's cracking the ceiling where she hung herself and the plaster's (instead of the American Beauty roses) snowflaking down into the Armagnac Tony had grabbed from Artie. When Gloria asks Tony, "What do you want to see? This or this?", the choices are her pussy or her neck. Apparently he looked at her neck and not her pussy, because she starts to remove the scarf. As she does so, he wakes up. He's more interested in death than in a source of pleasure and life.

Widow's Weeds

For Carmela, Tony's guilt spree means that Tony will sign the papers for the living trust. Is that trust money coming from "the good part" of Tony? Something about that seems off to me and for awhile I wondered if Carmela was working the street from both sides by getting all of her financials in a row so she could turn evidence on him or have him hit, but then I wondered how that would work if she had to go into WITSEC. Would she be able to get the money if he died while she was in WITSEC? Maybe she's thinking about the kids and their futures, and maybe her spotting of Angie Bonpensiero handing out sausage bits to grocery grazers scared her silly, but her other actions show her to be more and more materialistic and shallow. For example, in one breath, she tells AJ and his new girlfriend about the Lladro, "I don't even want to say how much it costs," and then in the exhale of that same breath, she reveals that it cost "$3,000." (I didn't notice - is she wearing that sapphire ring again?) Anyway, something seems off there with the Brian situation. Way off.

Carmela also sees some of her schemes backfire on her in Artie and Charmaine's Nuevo Vesuvio restaurant (BTW, Charmaine is the other woman who could have been Mrs. Tony Soprano, since she was the one who had sex with Tony the summer before he and Carmela got married. That was a from Season 1 after Carmela had treated Charmaine as one of the hired help which placed Charmaine on the same social status as her Polish maid). At Vesuvio's, Carmela and Tony host a pre- or post-Billy Joel concert dinner for her cousin Brian (blood?) and his wife/girlfriend Janelle (a very WASPish blonde) and Furio and Jessica, the dental hygienist Carmela had set him up with. Carmela looked jealous when Furio snuggled up next to his date, the dental hygienist who he said was going to clean his teeth (that was a funny line).

It's been interesting watching Carmela's character change over the seasons. She's barely managing to conceal her rage, and her manipulations are less than seamless. So far this season, she's attacked a priest and threatened to stop donations to the parish, manipulated Tony, visited Furio at his house with AJ in tow, and tried to get Tony to sign off on a life insurance trust with her as the sole beneficiary.

At Vesuvio's, Tony gave Patsy Parisi's name to Carmela's cousin Brian so Brian could get some deals on some Hugo Boss suits. Something doesn't seem right about that either. Other than being Carmela's cousin, who is Brian? What do we know about him? He could be another FBI plant, because the Feds had to have more than one person working just the Adriana angle. Looks like another RICO charge could be coming down the pike, something similar to the phone card/sporting goods/airplane tickets scheme that got Tony indicted the last time.

Christopher's Tightrope Act

I'm up on the tightwire
flanked by life and the funeral pyre
putting on a show
for you to see

- Leon Russell's "Tightrope"

Christopher is sliding into oblivion. He keeps saying is that he'll follow Tony into the "Gates of Hell." Follow is the operative word. He should be willing to set a pick, to clear the way for Tony to stride triumphantly wherever he needs to go, and not follow. Christopher should not lead, yet he should not merely be willing to follow either, and that delicate balance is what he's unable to navigate.

Yet every time Christopher tries to lead, it blows up in his face. When he tried to knock off Uncle Junior's trucks filled with DVD/CD Players in the first season, not only did he take a beating for that (and a mock execution from Junior's Russian henchmen at the end of a pier), but Junior's driver also wacked Chris's friend in the bath tub at the suggestion of Livia. This season, more than three years later, when Christopher had the opportunity to keep control of the docks where the building supplies were being unloaded, he gave a wink and a nod to Silvio and others to knock off the fiber optic cable and then Silvio knocked off the tile shipments in the wake of Christopher's decision. When he should be leading, he isn't. When he should be following (orders, Tony's lead) he doesn't, unless it means something to him personal level, such as his wacking of the cop whom Tony said had killed his father, an action that has irrevocably tied him to Tony. In three years, he still hasn't smartened up.

The scene in the bathroom with a stupified Christopher looking into the mirror for signs of jaundice under his eyelids gives the audience a mirror into the future of what Christopher will soon look like as they watch his friend with the H-scabbed face sitting on the floor and H-hurling into the stool.

Artie, the Armagnac King

Why did Artie "I'm a complete and total failure" Bucco think he needed to try to make a fast buck in loansharking for the Armagnac deal that he'd only looked at a mock-up prospectus of, a prospectus that any high school graphics student could have made at Kinkos? Did he think the vig he'd earn from it would get Charmaine off his back or back in his arms by ensuring that he'd provide braces for his daughter? This is the man who can't even get Tony to pay for his meals! I mean, what was his motivation? Did he want to be one of the guys? With Charmaine and his family gone, was he that lonely in his spartan dining room with his ashtray, the metal folding chair, and the folding banquet table covered with a restaurant table cloth that he'd turn to Tony's line of work instead of sticking with what he does best - cooking? Was it an ego thing that got him in the mess he's in now? Did he think that he could accomplish any or all of the above in one 'empire-building' fell swoop?

Was the Artie Armagnac arc all a foreshadowing of what could well happen to Tony once his family abandons him?

I can still remember Artie in the parking lot as he brandished the rifle and threatened to kill Tony after he'd discovered the truth of who was behind the arson at his first restaurant. He had some balls that day, but he lost them when he tried to run with the loansharks, no matter what his reasoning. His humiliating loss of the fist fight with the scrawny 'Frenchman' (after practicing his DeNiro in the mirror at home) who refused to pay what he owed demonstrated that. Emasculated. I mean really, would Tony Soprano ask somebody who was behind on a payment, "What is that, huh? Berber carpet?"

AJ's Awakening

AJ has acquired some new male friends and a supposed teenage mob groupie named Devon, or Devin, Pillsbury, whose father is supposed to be some sort of a financial wizard, this according to AJ's new young male friend (is he a FBI plant?) of the Beatle haircut and granny glasses.

The scene in which AJ and pals are trying to find the Bada Bing and instead end up finding the Satriale's Pork Store, the storefront butcher shop where Tony has his office showed how unaware AJ is of his surroundings (as compared to how aware his newly-found (?) friends are) and of how unaware he is about what fuels the funds for his life. The scene also showed that he's not capable of taking over the family business.

AJ has an idea that he and Devon (or is it Devin) should go into the city to hook up with Meadow to get her keys to her dorm room so they can have sex there. He wants to take the #33 bus, which he knows the schedule for, and she refuses, saying, "They're so smelly." She says she'll call for a car and driver and pay for it with her own AMEX card (red flag) instead.

He later shows some empathy for the plight of others, or at least as much as he's capable of showing, given his limited state of awareness. He gets out of his neighborhood, out of his milieu, and he starts to notice people are less fortunate than he is. His shame about his comments about his mother's penchant for collecting $3000 Lladro, a collectible Spanish porcelain, are meant to show how ill-placed his previous sense of superiority is (he's always seen himself as a rich kid) and how high on the food chain he'd seen himself and his family. All of back-and-forth that was a nice foil for the original cockish Picassos in his new girlfriend's palatial mansion and for his Beatle-loving friend who later asked him "How come your dad doesn't have that kind of Don Corleone money?" AJ replies, "I don't know."

Something doesn't ring true about AJ's new girlfriend, Devon (Devin) Pillsbury. She told AJ that they couldn't be together at her house because her step-father was using her mother's house as an office that weekend and that she wouldn't be at her father's house (the mansion) until the next weekend (leading him around by his business). She also tries to play AJ, tries to make him think that he and she are on the same playing field. AJ talks to her about how a friend of his, whose father is a teacher, lives in a "little box" with 4 other people in suburbia and wear "alright" clothes and she picks up on that later on and uses his attitude to bind them together. As they leave the Bronx, she says to him, "Look at the way these people have to live" and "We have everything we want," including AJ in her pronoun choice. Social engineering, anyone? She could well be a FBI plant.

Meadow seemed to be the only happy person in the whole episode. And look where she was. In the South Bronx, as far away from her family as she could get. Is she really Tony's daughter? Who did Carmela spend the summer with the summer she and Tony were broken up?

It seemed to me that when the Frenchman opened the door to Furio, that he knew him. Is the Frenchman really from France? Is Furio an informant? Why the non-verbals with the eyebrows? That's generally considered a non-verbal signal of recognition.

When the series began, a controlling theme became immediately noticeable: a loss of respect for the old family ways, a lack of ability to keep one's own counsel, a lack of ability of people to know their places until those places were changed by their superiors, the slow downward spiral of how things used to be. I think back to the barbeque party (in the pilot show) in the Sopranos' back yard with all the talk around the grill about this theme and I remember how Christopher separated himself from the herd because he thought that burning down Artie's restaurant so a guy could be hit elsewhere was the wrong thing to do.

It's a Topsy Turvy world. On the home front, a violent, psychopathic mobster sees himself as Gary Cooper, his cookie-baking church-going wife is turning into Lady Macbeth, his hormonal son is a dopey putz, his daughter who blames him for the death of her drug-dealing boyfriend is happiest while she's worlds away from him, his sister is plotting something and eyeing her Uncle's muscle, and his Uncle is on trial and poised to roll on him. On the business front, his new capo is shooting more and more horse and making piss-poor decisions, his childhood friend and a former goomah attempt and succeed at suicide respectively, his consigliore is unhappy that he's been passed over as capo, and his strong-arm man is in prison and stooling to his NY competition.

Nothing is what it should be. People aren't who they appear to be, and it's all relative.

© Pocket Litter

2002-10-22T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hero Gooseberry Preserves (Product Review)

Product name or line: Hero

Brief background on product/mfr: Swiss-based Hero is the largest food company in Europe, and is a subsidiary of Rai and Sons, which also manufactures Ricola lozenges, Ferrero Rocher chocolate-almond candy, Laughing Cow cheeses, and FAXE Bryggeri, a Danish beer. According to the site, the Swiss Hero company uses "no preservatives, artifical flavours or colours."

Price: $3.49 for 12 ozs., or $4.65/lb.

Where sold?: Grocery stores, gourmet shops, Netgrocer.

Packaging: Definitely gourmet-looking. Smallish glass jar that I'll save and fill with my own homemade jam and top off with a wee bit of parafin for next fall.

Color: Pale greenish yellow, the color of a gooseberry.

Appearance/Fragrance/odor: Smells sweet from the sugar, but doesn't really have a big fruity smell to it. More delicate than most fruits.

Texture: Seedy, very seedy. Texture and viscosity consistent with that of a preserve, approximately 65-70% firm (as opposed to a thicker jam or a wobblier jelly), but there were no chunks or pieces of gooseberry in the preserve, and that was disappointing, since that's one of the hallmarks of a preserve.

Taste: Tart but sweet. This was my first experience with gooseberries of any kind, and to my palate, there's not much of a taste beyond the tartness. I think they might be tasty in a custard pie.

Ingredients: SUGAR,GOOSEBERRIES,FRUIT PECIN,ASCORBIC ACID (TO PROMOTE COLOR RETENTION)

Application/Directions for use: Slather on your favotite flatbread, pita, cracker, toast, etc.

Pros: It's hard to find Gooseberry preserves or jam. It's not a flavor that Smuckers tackles.

Cons: Price and 14 g of sugar.

Bottom Line: Nice to receive in a gift basket. Would not purchase for myself.

Value: Try making your own jams, jellies, and preserves instead! It's easy! Take a look at one of the best and least expensive guides to home canning: The Ball Blue Book-Guide to Home Canning, Freezing, & Dehydration

[I am not being compensated in any way, shape, or form for any product review.]

2002-10-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

-- Philip Larkin (1974)

2002-10-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Hansen's Healthy Start Super Juice Citrus Punch Focus Blend (Product Review)

Product name or line: Hansen Beverage Co.

Brief background on product/mfr: The 65-year old Hansen's company markets and sells snack bars and health-oriented beverages such as energy drinks, smoothies, natural sodas and fruit juices. Web presence at Hansens.com

Price: 12.00 oz for $1.69 ($4.51/Qt)

Where sold?: Local grocery stores, 'Get and Gos,' NetGrocer, and at Hansens.com.

Packaging: Colorful plastic sleeve over glass. Bottle is shaped much like an old-fashioned small milk bottle. Screwtop lid.

Color: Looks like a mix of tomato and orange. Not unpleasant.

Appearance/Color/Odor: No one juice flavor overpowers the other.

Texture/Taste: Juice texture, not a creamy smoothie. It's sweet yet a bit tart. The tomato juice cuts the usual throat-clenching sweetness of the orange juice. No after taste from any of the juices, ginko, ginsing, or vitamins. Lip-smacking good!

Ingredients: FILTERED WATER, GRAPE, APPLE, LEMON, ORANGE, AND TOMATO JUICE CONCENTRATES. NATURAL COLORS, NATURAL FLAVOR, ELDERBERRY JUICE CONCENTRATE, SIBERIAN GINSENG EXTRACT, BETA CAROTENE (COLOR), PECTIN, VITAMIN C, NATURAL GUMS, GINKO BILOBA LEAF EXTRACT, VITAMIN E, VITAMIN B12.

Results as promised? Effectiveness?: Getting 100% of my B-12 for the day can't hurt.

Pros: No sugar added!

Cons: Price.

Bottom Line: Will most likely purchase again and will look for the other flavors of Tropical Orange Vitamax, Cranberry Grape Defense, and Carrot Orange Antioxidant.

Value: It'd be far cheaper for me to Juice it myself in my Juicelady, but this is good for a grab-n-go in the morning.

[I am not being compensated in any way, shape, or form for any product review.]

2002-10-19T10:04:00.000-07:00

LATHER Bulgarian Rose Phyto-Nutrient Elixir (Product Review)

LATHER Bulgarian Rose Phyto-Nutrient Elixir

Product name or line: Lather

Brief background on product/mfr: The Lather product line was devised in 1999 by Emilie Davidson Hoyt, who has a history of migraines from which she found relief through natural products.

Price: $21 for 2 ozs. I have a 1 oz. size from a gift basket.

Where sold?: Two stores in California (Pasadena and Hollywood) with a third on the way (San Jose), at an online presence at latherup.com, at Henri Bendel's Fifth Avenue store in New York, at select Nordstrom's, and selected products may be ordered at QVC.com. The products are also carried at seven other retailers sprinkled throughout the States.

Packaging: Plain packaging is one of the line's trademarks. The premise is that the cost goes into the ingredients and not into the packaging or paid celebrity endorsements. White generic bottle, black cap that raises up with the push of a finger, light blue rectangle bleeding into company lettering, black text.

Appearance/Fragrance/odor: Very light rose scent. Just a hint.

Texture: Light spray, dispersed in a mist.

Ingredients: organic Bulgarian Rose hydrosol, purified water, oat beta glucan, aloe vera, glucose oxidase, lactoperoxidase, potassium thiocyanate (derived from sugar and whey), yeast extract (plant pseudocollagen), grape seed extract, milk amino acids, chondus crispus (red algae), zinc acetylmethionatel, retinyl palmitate polypeptide (vitamin A), pure essential oils of organic Bulgarian Rose, organic Madagascar ylang ylang complete

Application/Directions for use: Spray on face after washing or throughout the day as needed.

Results as promised? Effectiveness?: The site says, "This unique plant-based facial spray contains rare ingredients with powerful restorative properties. Organic Bulgarian rose combined with ylang-ylang from Madagascar and oat beta glucan improves the immune system of the skin and reduces redness and inflammation often apparent in sensitive skin." While I can find research to support this claim, I can find no comprehensive peer-reviewed study to support this claim.

The site also says "Vitamins A, C and E with grape seed extract work as valuable and powerful antioxidents to diminish fine lines." While much research is being done on grape seed extracts and antioxidents, no studies are conclusive.

The site says, "This elixir regulates sebum production while stimulating collagen production, adding a healthy glow to the face." The Bulgarian Rose Phyto-Nutrient Elixir is a refreshing spray mist, but I can't speak to its effectiveness in "revitalizing aging skin," as the product label states, because I haven't used it for any extended period of time. It does add moisture to the top layer of my skin, but then so does a splash of water.

Pros: Pleasant smell.

Cons: Price. Far better values in this type of elixir spray product can be found at Burt's Bees.

Bottom Line: I would not purchase this item for myself, and will not purchase again, but I will use the rest of the product.

[I am not being compensated in any way, shape, or form for any product review.]

2002-10-17T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hot, Sweet Summer Sweat, or A Hundred Thousand Miles and Then Some

I once had a lowly reddish-orange 2-door Honda Civic. I loved that car because I could park between almost any two vehicles in the huge parking lot at the factory where I was working nights in the early 80s. That car saved me from being late and getting into big trouble many a day. I am grateful to it for every one of the hundred thousand miles it carried me to and fro.

The tires were nearly shot, the muffler had a penchant for dragging and sparking at the most inopportune moments, and the heater didn't work. As if that weren't enough character, the back window was broken out and I'd duct-taped a few layers of plastic sheeting over the opening. I used that cheap and dirty fix because I'd slammed the hatchback down on a rather large and full aluminum beer container, otherwise known as a keg, which I'd purchased earlier on a snowy winter's day from a friend who worked for another friend at his liquor store in the town that the Civic would later die in. The keg was for a birthday soiree of mine at my house in a small town that I was living in at that time. The owner of that house was a panty raider; he kept breaking in and stealing my black lace underpants, which is yet another long story from my wild days, a story I may or may not tell.

Several years later, long after all partygoers had recovered from hangovers from the birthday party and no doubt had experienced hundreds of others, early one summer morning after a night of extended debauchery in the same town where I'd had the birthday party, the car finally and quite simply gave up on me as I was driving home to the city where I'd purchased the keg several years before.

That sultry Midwestern summer night, the moon was full and the June bugs were thick and swarming about the street lamps when the car stopped just six blocks from my little white wooden-framed house (which was behind a Goodwill store -- the swag from that particular residence was astonishing). Since I'm a practical gal, I got out, and with one hand on the wheel, I pushed it 20 blocks home on the deserted back streets, singing a sweet and low down spiritual about being a wayfaring stranger. As I pushed, hot, sweet summer sweat streamed down between my, erm...well, dear reader, you can imagine where the sweat was streaming down, can't you?

2002-10-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

"It's a real result": The Worst of the Supremes

100 % voted “Yes” to President Saddam Hussein

A total of "11,445, 638 voters" said yes to President Hussein, "It's a historic day," Ibrahim said, "this was a unique democratic exercise." "It's a real result whether it pleases Westerners or not."

2002-10-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

A post about the ethics of blogging

Blogo Culpa: A response

inter alia:

Tom Matrullo on blogging for pay via fishrush's Some People get Paid for Blogging!?!? WTF!

2002-10-16T07:37:00.000-07:00

How in the world did Windows Messenger take over my mailbox? Well? Adding insult to injury, the damn thing is undeletable.

Imagine that. Oh, to be a geek and know another OS.

2002-10-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

.
The only way I'm able to post this morning is via the Blog This! popup. gah! I can't get access to the regular web interface and some posts have gone missing and/or are appearing twice.

I've never once received an email response to any question I've ever submitted to Blogger, and at one time, I was considering going the Blogger Pro/no ads route. That would have meant some money for them. Goofy pishdiddlers!

Movable Type looks so much better with each passing day. I believe I shall gladly pay them to set it up for me.

Sign me disgruntled and disgusted, but what should I expect for free, eh?

2002-10-16T05:41:00.000-07:00

It takes 19 minutes for Norton AntiVirus to discover that my computer has no infections. Would that science could work that fast.

2002-10-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

Oddest Search Engine Query of the Day:

"free nudist litter boy"

Even the thought of a typo makes me extremely nervous.

2002-10-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

*
Masturbate for Peace

Newest Masturbate for Peace Bumper Stickers:

Attack your crack, not Iraq!
You Can't Beat Off with Nuclear Arms
War is Mean, Flick Your Bean
War is wrong. Whack your schlong.
If you pound it, peace will come
Give bush the finger
My 'friendly fire' harms no-one
Semen cleans off of hands easier than blood
Stop the war, jerk some more
Palms Not Bombs
I'm going blind for Mankind
Stop the hurt, let it spurt
Ban war, jerk some more
War is silly, whack your willy
Think globally, whack locally

2002-10-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

*
The thought of a "peenie wallie" makes me giggle.

Dialect Survey

"The dialect survey is an expansion of an initiative begun by Professor Bert Vaux at Harvard University. Dr. Vaux prepared an earlier version of this survey for his Dialects of English class at Harvard in 1999. The survey has since been revised and expanded for a larger, lay audience."

From the survey:

65. What do you call the insect that flies around in the summer and has a rear section that glows in the dark?
a) lightning bug
b) firefly
c) I use lightning bug and firefly interchangeably
d) peenie wallie
e) I have no word for this
f) other:

2002-10-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

*
Warren resident was seen using a pumpkin to sexually gratify himself.

By: Norb Franz, Macomb Daily Staff Writer September 27, 2002

A Warren man who walked nude in his back yard and was spotted by neighbors using a pumpkin to sexually gratify himself was sentenced this week to 90 days in jail for indecent exposure. Bill Saintclair Patton, 45, was jailed on an unrelated domestic violence charge when he was brought to 37th District Court on Tuesday for the 2-year-old indecent exposure case.

Residents on Lyons Circle East complained to police in November 2000 that Patton masturbated in the yard, and that they later saw him commit a sex act using a pumpkin, in plain view through a basement window. The act is similar to a scene in the movie "American Pie". "If that's where he got the idea to do this, I don't know," said Warren Detective Sgt. Gary Johnson: "I can't think of any (other) report I've ever seen of a guy doing anything with a vegetable or fruit.

©The Macomb Daily 2002

2002-10-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

*
Who is the Judas Goat in the Soprano 'family'?

Lots of opening and closing of doors and closets in this episode.

Did Uncle June steal 30 pieces of silver from that old man's coat? Will Ralphie have a heart attack while wearing a butt plug or will he get wacked first? Will Janice give away Karen's last ziti? Will Bobby Baccala complete his inspection of the undersides of the Tupperware and Pyrex dishes and will he take the upper hand with Janice once he discovers that she passed off Carmella's lasagne as her own?

At the stables, a Judas Goat appears. When was the last time Tony smiled in his home? When was the last time Carmella had an orgasm? What happened with the Priest or the Contractor? Will Carmella ever actually get her real estate license?

Will Adrianna get a new chair? Was it finding out that Big Pussy Bompensiero and her uncle Richie Aprile weren't in WITSEC that sent Adriana over the edge? Will Adriana end up sleeping with the fishes and being called "Little Pussy"? Or are there other squealers in the family? Will Adrianna start shooting up more and more H?

Will the Providence 'Gang Who Can't Stand Up' confuse Johnny Sack for Tony in the Polaroid? What will Melfi's lesbian daughter's relationship to Meadow be? Will Meadow be opening a door and coming out of the closet?

2002-10-14T13:03:00.000-07:00

*
Tony Soprano is to Winston Churchill as __________ is to _________.

Sopranos fave lines:

Uncle June (after shutting a closet and putting on a Mr. Rogers' sweater): "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood."

Uncle June (after seeing a rather unflattering artist's sketch of himself on the evening news): "So now I'm fodder for a fuckin' cartoon.

Tony (in the kitchen foraging and eating, as usual): Used "in vitro" instead of "inter vivo" or living trust, to describe the kind of trust he wanted. Ah, Livia...

Christopher (sitting in his basement apartment after he put away his gun in the closet) to Adrianna (begging him to move to California and get out of the business because she loves him): " If you love me you'll stir my eggs." All that was missing was the obligatory "bitch" at the end.

Bobby Baccala (to Janice, who is desperate to erase traces of Bobby's wife who is barely cold in her grave): "That was Karen's last ziti."

2002-10-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Cornel West and NBC's Law and Order

I heard that Law and Order tackled the brouhaha between Afro-American studies Professor Cornel West and Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers. Would have liked to see that episode. I've had the great good pleasure of hearing West speak, and he's a tour de force.

*

2002-10-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

*
What's next? Carmella's brand of douche?

Product Advertisers Find 'Sopranos' Hard to Refuse

"In this season's premiere, the Soprano family matriarch, Carmela, wanders down a grocery store aisle containing boxes of SnackWells cookies. In another episode, a glimpse into the Soprano refrigerator reveals dozens of bottles of Snapple beverages. Other prominently featured brand names have included the brokerage Charles Schwab, Honeycomb cereal, and Entenmanns' baked goods."

2002-10-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

*
Moral of the story: listen to old wives and their tales.

Jasmine-Sniffing Snoozers Catch Higher Quality Z's

"Dr. Bryan Raudenbush and his colleagues at the Wheeling Jesuit University in Wheeling, West Virginia, found that people who slept in rooms infused with jasmine appeared to sleep more peacefully and report higher afternoon alertness than when spending the night in a lavender-scented room, or one with no added smell."

2002-10-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

Stop Blaming Bill Clinton's Penis

Rep. Lindsay Graham (R, SC), one of the House Managers during the impeachment hearings, tried blaming the penises of the "Democratically-controlled Senate" this morning on Meet the Press with Tim Russert.

Drop the knob already! Even Monica had enough sense not to swallow.

*

2002-10-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

THE ARTICLE SALON WON’T RUN ABOUT A FILM PBS WON’T AIR

If PBS would air programs such as this, I would donate to their insidious fund-raising weeks.

*

2002-10-13T11:46:00.000-07:00

Man kills parents, thought they were 'pod people'

"Defense attorney Robert Thomas said Stephens had been an intelligent young man who did well in school, earned an associate's degree and got a job as a postal worker."

Did the degree or the postal job send him around the bend?

2002-10-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Dairy cows get illegal 'boob jobs' for contests

Old cow. New Cow. Animal Husbandry by Laura Zigman. Need I say more?

2002-10-12T16:37:00.000-07:00

Suicide Risk Runs in Families

Oh, that's just great.

2002-10-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

Falwell remarks prompt Hindu-Muslim clashes, five killed.

Why couldn't the German zookeepers have eaten Falwell instead of the animals from the petting zoo?

2002-10-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

Excitable boy says, "Yes, I have a bananna."

He should have been riding a bike with a banana seat.

2002-10-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

For Sale: Emotional baggage cds photos memorabilia

Would that it were so easy.

2002-10-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

Weapon of Mass Distraction

10/07/02 8:02 P.M. EDT. THE PRESIDENT: “Many Americans have raised legitimate questions: about the nature of the threat; about the urgency of action — why be concerned now; about the link between Iraq developing weapons of terror, and the wider war on terror. These are all issues we've discussed broadly and fully within my administration. And tonight, I want to share the answer with you: It’s the oil, stupid. And my one-man fatwah against daddy’s nemesis. After all, this is the guy who tried to kill my dad. And don’t forget the fall elections — nothing buoys public approval ratings, distracts the booboisie from a moribund economy, and puts steam in my slacks like a little carpet-bombing. Sure, the pricetag for this thing is going to be big —$200 billion, according to White House economist Lawrence Lindsey, a sum that will mandate savage cuts to school budgets and police forces across the nation. As for the coming war’s cost in American blood, well, there is no easy or risk-free course of action. War is hell — or at least it looked like hell on the nightly news during my toga-party tour of duty in the Texas Air National Guard in 1968. Can you believe I squeaked through the pilot aptitude test with a 25 percent — the lowest acceptable grade — just when I was 12 days away from losing my student draft deferment, right when 350 Americans were dying in Vietnam at the rate of 350 a week? Is that dumb luck, or what?!? Then again, maybe the fact that daddy was a congressman from Houston had something to do with my admission... In any event, if the bodybags start coming home, I’ll show those cynics in the liberal media elite how easily we Bushes cry. Compassionate conservatism is more than just an empty slogan, as anyone knows who heard my lump-in-the-throat eulogy for the nine Israelis killed when a suicide bomber blew their bus to kingdom come. En route to the golf course with daddy, I paused, club in hand, for a solemn moment with the assembled press corps: ‘There are a few killers who want to stop the peace process that we have started, and we must not let them,’ I said. ‘I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.’ Anyhoo, by the time our doughboys hit Baghdad city limits, I’ll be feeling no pain, skimming across the sun-kissed waves of Kennebunkport in Poppy’s cigarette boat, high on the crack cocaine of power and privilege that comes with being the fortunate son of American royalty. I guess that about covers it, my fellow citizens. Any questions?”

© G®afted Media Devil, 2002. via Boing Boing

2002-10-12T08:51:00.000-07:00

New Instant Messenger Acronyms

My favorite: BJSMAPOHPT! - Ben just sent me a picture of his penis too!

2002-10-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

Tattletale: Things to save for when they're older

Poop, turtles, and the honesty of a child.

What kind of scrapbook page would this memory make?

2002-10-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

Sheep Brain Dissection Packages

Enough said.

2002-10-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

What Color Is Your Aura, from Emode.com

"Groovy, baby! Your aura is a bright, healthy Emerald — which means you're an earthy soul with a green thumb and an easy-going nature. Find out more about what your aura color means — sign up with Emode!"

2002-10-11T01:55:00.000-07:00

Bush Oil Firm Did Enron-Style Deal - Report

Wed Oct 9, 5:20 PM ET
By Greg Frost

BOSTON (Reuters) - President Bush (news - web sites)'s former oil firm formed a partnership with Harvard University that concealed the company's financial woes and may have misled investors, a student and alumni group said in a report on Wednesday.

The partnership between Harken Energy Corp. and Harvard, created with Bush's approval, bore strong resemblance to the partnerships that helped disguise Enron's problems, the report's authors said.

The White House disputed that comparison.

----- ----- ----- -----

I'm pretty sure Joe Conason reported this from the 2000 campaign trail in Esquire.

2002-08-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ill. Woman Warned on Nursing Son, 8
"Prosecutors were again trying to force a woman to stop breast-feeding her 8-year-old son, a practice that once temporarily landed the boy in foster care."

On Yahoo! News: Strange News - AP via News Is Free

School Boots Kid With Blue Hair
"Mark Ashby Jr.'s hairstyle earned him one more day of summer vacation."

On Yahoo! News: Strange News - AP via News Is Free

Mom Charged in Children's Sunburns
"A woman was arrested on felony charges for allegedly letting her three children get so severely sunburned they looked like they "were dipped in red paint."

On Yahoo! News: Strange News - AP via News Is Free

Shock Jocks Muzzled in Sex Incident
"In the almost-anything-goes world of radio, home to Howard Stern and Don Imus, a pair of New York shock jocks discovered what goes too far: sex inside St. Patrick's Cathedral."

On Yahoo! News: Strange News - AP via News Is Free

High Art Meets Tabloid TV in Opera
"One of the hottest tickets at this year's Edinburgh Fringe festival features expletive-spitting louts, a man clad only in a diaper, a talk show host and Satan. Naturally, it's an opera."

On Yahoo! News: Strange News - AP via News Is Free

Who has time to make this stuff? Barbie and Ken get it on
"(Some Guy)"
On FARK via News Is Free

The Monty Python Store
On Crackbaby.com - For The Twisted Little Kid in You! via News Is Free

The Story Of Lobster Boy
On Crackbaby.com - For The Twisted Little Kid in You! via News Is Free

WOMAN’S ORGASM IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVEN ARREST
"A true gentleman is a gentleman even in a crisis situation. And when a gentleman is under the threat of arrest for making outdoor sex, he will continue with his caresses to bring his woman to the peak of delight."
On Pravda.RU:Fun via News Is Free

SNAKE BITES CHEF
"The incident took place in the northern city of Hai Phong, 50 km east of Hanoi. The young chef, 22 years of age, was bitten as he took the snake out of its container to prepare it for cooking. The terrified animal bit his arm."
On Pravda.RU:Fun via News Is Free

"Congressman Bob Barr ousted along with democratic incumbent in Georgia"

On FARK via News Is Free

Magic mushrooms help kill cancer

On FARK via News Is Free

TheWonderLlama dot com Grand Re-Opening!
"It's also the only place on the hyper-global-mega-net where you can read Ask Weez! or view the fabled Jebus shirt."
On TangentOrg via News Is Free

'Survivor' Porn Past Exposed
On Madville via News Is Free

Sexual theme parks offer wild and raunchy rides

On FARK via News Is Free

Presenting the newest superhero: Stripperella (aka Pam Anderson). Super power: Lie-detecting boobies. Really.
"(Some Guy)"
On FARK via News Is Free

Tonya Harding leaves her single wide for new digs in jail
(KGW.com)
On FARK via News Is Free

Violent nudist nabbed
"After answering an assault complaint at a nudist colony, St. Tammany Parish sheriff's deputies tracked a man, wearing nothing but a hat, into an adjacent wooded area... When he was brought to the prison, the naked offender was given 'a temporary wardrobe of horizontally striped tunic and matching pants.'"
On Daily Rotten via News Is Free

Women love screaming "Go Cocks!" and manhandling Lou Holtz

On FARK via News Is Free

Man receives package postmarked 12/13/1945

On FARK via News Is Free

2002-06-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy and have neglected my Blogger. Shame on me.

2002-04-03T11:17:00.000-08:00

"Write for the cheap seats if you want a big successful movie, the folks who do blue-collar jobs and want to laugh, cry and feel like there's hope."

-- Skip Press, in another post from misc.writing.

2002-04-03T11:03:00.000-08:00

'You can paint with watercolors in indie films; studio movies need bright colors and bold strokes."

- Skip Press, in a post from misc.writing.

2002-04-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

Milkweed Editions

"Milkweed Editions is an award-winning, nonprofit literary publisher of high-quality books that places an emphasis on cultural diversity, environmental stewardship, exceptionally crafted poetry, and insightful literature for adults and children in the middle grades."

2002-04-01T15:34:00.000-08:00

Ashcroft Redirects Hunt for Terrorists

Biting satire from Archer070 on the misc.writing newsgroup.

WASHINGTON, DC, April 1--Attorney General John Ashcroft today ordered the Federal Bureau of Investigation to focus on the sexual orientation of suspected terrorists rather than on their reigious beliefs.

"The events of September 11 are giving people wrong ideas about religion," said the Attorney General, who was chiseling the genitalia from a statute of Apollo during the interview. "In fact, terrorists have all been driven insane by heterosexuality. All they can think about are those 72 virgins. Something has to be done."

An extensive Justice Department database consisting of heterosexuals has yielded 245,476,184 suspects so far.

"The list is very promising," said the Attorney General. "We're starting with seventeen year-old boys who subscribe to 'Penthouse.' "

2002-04-01T15:24:00.000-08:00

Congressman Dennis Kucinich says, "Think peace. Speak peace. Act peace. Peace."

2002-04-01T15:10:00.000-08:00

Google's PigeonRank™

2002-03-31T12:17:00.000-08:00

Which Blog Is Best for You?

David Hauslaib visits DiaryLand, LiveJournal, Blogger, and Noah Grey's Greymatter.

2002-03-31T11:18:00.000-08:00

The Pornography of Semiotics

Michael Daddino spends 24 hours watching MTV, and tells the world what he sees."

2002-03-30T16:00:00.000-08:00

20 things. 20 people. 20 days.

The site says: "here's how it works: 20 people make 20 things in 20 days. each mails their 20 things with a SASE. in return, each gets that SASE back, filled with one of each thing made in the group."

2002-03-30T14:25:00.000-08:00

Need a new name for your blogger, a band, your inner child, or a moniker for your email Lothario? Try Band Automatic Name Generator (BANG).

2002-03-30T11:18:00.000-08:00

BlogSnob - The better, faster way to publicize your personal site

Looks very cool. Worth a look as an interesting traffic-generator.

2002-03-30T10:57:00.000-08:00

GoogleWhacking

Like I need another time-waster.

2002-03-28T13:34:00.000-08:00

Tried to play cribbage last night with a friend who is quite ill and we couldn't because she'd forgotten how to play it.

2002-03-28T12:33:00.000-08:00

The Invisible Library

"The Invisible Library is a collection of books that only appear in other books. Within the library's catalog you will find imaginary books, pseudobiblia, artifictions, fabled tomes, libris phantastica, and all manner of books unwritten, unread, unpublished, and unfound." -- Brian Quinette

2002-03-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

PETA visits Good Morning America and declares "Jack Hanna is a wildlife pimp!"

2002-03-28T11:07:00.000-08:00

Deep Blues, a must-see documentary by Robert Mugge about the Delta and the Memphis Blues genres. Currently playing on the Starz Channels.

Interview with Mugge
MUG SHOTS, from the July, 1999 issue of Blues Access magazine.

Deep Blues Reviews
In Memories and Music, Searching for the Blues
'Deep Blues': America's Still Got 'Em, Fortunately

Deep Blues on IMDB

2002-03-28T10:34:00.000-08:00

100 Greatest American Movies by the AFI